I promised to log every month how's training been. I did so for October and November. Then I disappeared. I'm sorry. It's April 3rd now. A lot changed. February I almost arrived to my breaking point. It was so hard, giving up felt as close as ever. But I kept training. Moments like these leave a mental scar on you. Even though it's April - I still question a lot of decisions and I didn't forget February. But maybe that just makes me wiser. Anyways, let's deep dive.
What happened after I stopped writing (so from December)
We can break the training into:
- injuries
- weight room
- track
- long jumping, technique, etc.
- competitions
and my overall life to:
- high-tech job
- new second apartment (I moved from Ramat-Gan to Tel-Aviv in Jan.)
- Family & Job & Training & "whatever left for mental health" balance
Here, I'll describe the overall changes I've been through, just as a background. The training itself - I'll specify in different blogs. One for each month. A lot of time passed - so it may not be written with fresh thoughts, but I'll try to give value in each blog.
So, here is what changed in my life since December.
December
I kept living in the new apartment I wrote about in the last blog until the end of December. I deliberately rented it (a room inside a 2-room apartment) for exactly 2 months. I had a temporary job near Ramat-Gan (well that's what I thought. In reality, it took me at least 1.5 hours on average to go each way). New job. First time living by myself (well, really, with a roomate I didn't know). It was a lot. The training stadium was super far. About 2 hours from my home and even more from my job. All of that riding was a real challenge I wanted to fix with my next apartment. I actually already wrote that in the last blog of November.
In December I tried to optimize my life even more. Train near home when possible. Not get carried at work. Manage time correctly. And a lot of that actually succeeded. I slept the most I slept since I started training in that month, and I was super focused on track. I signed a contract for a new high-tech job (which is a story of its own, cuz I have no degree or job-experience in that area, just projects) in November so in December I did some onboarding too.
It was a month of experiencing and a lot of travel. In general, one of the big pain points in the last year, and it'll keep being so until the end of the season - is the travel. I. am. always. on. the. roads. And that's impacting me on so many different levels. I'm tired, I don't have a routine, I'm always working when I'm riding, never resting, etc. It's hard to really explain but all of those train/bus rides have a huge mental/physical load on me.
Something fixed it for me in March. But we'll get to that.
January
Started working in that job I signed for. Moved to Tel-Aviv. Was kind of forced into that apartment as end of December was just around the corner and I didn't have any good options. I moved into a 4-room apartment, 4th floor, no elevator, with people that are now my friends. One of them was my friend for a long time. The difference between living with friends and just roommates is incredible. By the way, If you are reading this from a country that is not Israel, I pay 3,650 NIS for that apartment monthly, which is, to this day: 1,166 USD. That is for one room out of 3 in that apartment. The cheapest room.
Rent is expensive in Tel-Aviv. Extremely.
But I have a good-paying job. Especially for a 21-year-old no-degree-no-nothing guy. And that really didn't bother me. I thought if that brings me closer to where I train and work - that's a huge win for me. I couldn't stand all of those rides.
I was wrong.
The distances became somewhat shorter. I won't lie. And I measure distances in time because in that city's traffic, 1 mile can be 20 minutes. But still, I fixed a huge problem with a big problem. It got easier but it was still hard.
I love saying that if when your schedule is full, you are 100% busy. Then in November-December I was 150% busy. Now that I got into a much more dynamic job that lets me sometimes work from home. And the distances got a bit shorter. I moved from 150% to 130% busy. But if you are past 100% you don't actually feel it. I'm just saying "no" to people less or feeling like I'm missing less. But I'm still saying "no" and still missing. If that makes sense.
Around end of December to January I had a small injury at my left heel. It became kinda big and I missed a lot of competitions in the winter. I actually competed only twice. One time I jumped 6.19m. Terrible. One time I fouled all my jumps. Actually less bad if in that case, the jumps were actually good. But they weren't. I started the warmup 20 minutes late after I took a city bike and cycled couple of miles to the stadium. Chaos. Just chaos. But that's actually on February so lemme start a new header.
February
Both in January and most of February, I was riding so much, my days were starting at 8 am and ending at 10 pm. When I write "ending", I mean - I was getting near home around 9 pm, then buy groceries and stuff, and finally get to cooking at 10 pm. Sometimes I ate around midnight. The words I write don't have the same effect as living those words. But life was extremely hard in that month. I was trying to be a good worker, which is required when you are a nobody trying to succeed at the big league. I was trying to be a good athlete. With all my heart. And I was trying to not be hungry. All of that absolutely destroyed my schedule. I just stopped being free. That was a thing of the past.
That's how both January and February looked.
I love my job. And I kinda like training. It sucks when you are injured, but eventually I manage to move past it and recover. But it doesn't happen without pushing through being just extremely sad, and unmotivated, tired and overworked.
I thought a lot of that time, that even if I put everything I have into sports, it still might not be enough. Because you can be the best at training, but you can't cheat recovery or nutrition. You can't cheat not having enough focus. My job and track are competing for attention.
Don't think that I'm some kind of a loser right now. I never miss trainings and I absolutely deliver for my job. I'm working my ass off and not succeeding is not an option. But everything has a price. And I guess, in February, I felt like the price is just too much.
The slap
February was the slap. I got slapped so hard I started questioning everything. I talked with a lot of people. "You should live, not survive". I didn't even think of living at that point, I wondered if I can survive.
It was really, really hard.
I had to do some changes.
And I did. What got me out of there was communication. I asked for days to work from home. I asked my trainer to not come every training session and to only come, possibly, on long jump days (and weekends). He agreed. The job agreed. I made a change for the better. I made many changes that month. And it felt better.
And then, March came.
March
On February 28th, US and Israel attacked Iran.
I know that many of you got probably a lot of opinions on Israel. We all got opinions on everything. Keep in mind there are at least 9 million people in Israel. Most of them are regular working people that don't care about politics and just want to live peacefully. Anyways, the things you see on the news - are real things and they changed my life completely.
This war actually gave me the break I never would have taken for myself. Yes, we were bombed contantly. But that's not new. What was new for me is that we started working from home, and that I got out of my apartment, and that extremely busy life. I stopped being on the train and bus so much. It was huge.
Eventually I ended up at my parent's house. Where I live my whole life up until summer 2024 (army, etc. etc.). I am now here for the longest period since somewhere in 2023-2024. My life didn't become super easy - but they did become... manageble. I got a small taste of living. I keep training each day and I keep working. I eat well, I sleep better, and I got out of the big-city busy life.
That's a big lesson for me. I understood how bad is travelling so much. From the other side, there isn't really a fix for that for this season. As my trainer's stadium is just far from the job I'm in and even farther from the house I live. In retrospective, a better decision was to live a few dozen miles north near the train. It would save me a lot of time and money. And I even think I kinda understood it in December.
But things just happen.
April
Well, only 3 days passed in that month.
TL;DR (Though it doesn't really summarize this blog)
To sum up - I moved to a new job and city and life. A graph showing how much I'm busy just kept rising and rising and rising. At the February it touched the sky. I almost broke down. And I mean it. There is a limit to how much 8am-10/11pm days you can just survive back to back to back. Keeping doing workouts each day, being good at work. There's a limit where you can keep doing the same things but the quality of doing them and your mental health just massively drop.
At the end of the day, I'm not doing this for anyone except me. No one cares about my athletic career. It won't bring me money or fame. Only life-lessons. And so, if I'm not happy. Or if I'm broken, devastated. No one cares. Literally. Which means I need to make it sustainable. Make life sustainable by myself. March helped me a lot with it. It looks like at least until the mid of April I'll keep living at my parent's house, working mostly from home, training here, etc. War tends to stretch always farther then it seems and I might even find myself here in May.
It doesn't even disappoint me that I keep paying rent while not living at my apartment. I needed this rest so much.
I hope to be more active here, but life is just being life right now.
